“I am afraid your letter is most unsuitable for me at the present time, as I’ve just spent the entire weekend writing the novel which you have summarily rejected. I can only presume it is company policy to reject all manuscripts not submitted in ten foot high brail!”
Some mild language, but this is genius. Pass it on to your writer friends. They’ll love you for it.
A word from author Chuck Wendig:
No more aspiring, dingbats. Here are the two states in which you may exist: person who writes, or person who does not. If you write: you are a writer. If you do not write: you are not. Aspiring is a meaningless null state that romanticizes Not Writing. It’s as ludicrous as saying, “I aspire to pick up that piece of paper that fell on the floor.” Either pick it up or don’t.
As a former self-described aspirer, this hurts. And when I say it hurts, don’t think pinprick – think hot coffee to the face. It scalds. Truth has a way of doing that.
So I want to pass this on to any readers who may be laboring under the impression that they can’t call themselves writers until they’ve a) published a book or b) won a Pulitzer Prize or c) made the New York Times bestseller list. It’s all rubbish. Now buck up.
Writers write. So do it. Aspiring is for people who want to have written.
"But words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling like dew upon a thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think." – Lord Byron