Tag Archives: relationships

1 Good Reason Not to Read 5 Good Reasons

… a new view of marriage emerged from the eighteenth and nineteenth century Enlightenment. Older cultures taught their members to find meaning in duty, by embracing their assigned social roles and carrying them out faithfully. During the Enlightenment, things began to shift. The meaning of life came to be seen as the fruit of the freedom of the individual to choose the life that most fulfills him or her personally. Instead of finding meaning through self-denial, through giving up one’s freedoms, and binding oneself to the duties of marriage and family, marriage was redefined as finding emotional and sexual fulfillment and self-actualization. (Keller, The Meaning of Marriage)

As if our culture needed further pretext for thumbing its collosal snoot at marriage, Elite Daily‘s Paul Hudson has written a piece entitled “5 Good Reasons to Wait Until You’re 30 to Get Married“.

The good reasons given are (predictably) nothing of the kind. Were there any honesty in the world of titling, it would have been called 5 Good Reasons Why Our Generation is Relationally Screwed, with a disclaimer about the dangers of reading sans tequila.

As with so many flaccid pomo write-ups on life, the universe, and everything, it’s difficult to justify a lengthy retort. Life is short, pearls rare, swine swinish. Hudson’s article – a triumph of crib-level narcissism if ever there was one – is so bad, so really, truly, and awfully bad, that the thought of picking it apart is tiring to consider. When the author begins by declaring that he’s “not entirely convinced there is a reason to ever get married”, you know it’s all downhill on greased rollerblades from there.

So how about that one reason not to read Paul Hudson’s five? Simple: each and every word reeks of selfishness. His advice is only conducive to the propagation of navel-gazing immaturity, and we have more than enough of that already.

Just think about it. We’re dealing with a culture that exalts the Self above all else, to nauseating extremes. This is why we give thumbs up to crushing an unborn child’s skull if you, as its mother, just don’t want it. This is why Mr. Paul Hudson can write about marriage like it’s a ball-and-chain to be avoided as long as possible, if not altogether. We’re smitten with ourselves, and God forbid the appearance of any rival suitor.

“From Courting, to Dating, to Hanging Out…”

In which Matt Walsh tells single guys to man up and drop the pansy vocabulary:

It went from courting, to dating, to hanging out. Sometimes even hanging out reeks of too much commitment, in which case ‘talking’ can be used. And if talking sounds too serious, maybe we’ll start hearing ‘vicinitizing.’ That’s a word I just made up, and it means that you and your female friend are often in the same vicinity, but it doesn’t get all intense by insinuating that you’re actually in that general location together on purpose.

When did men become so afraid to make a commitment, to take the lead, to say what they want, to make long term plans, to set goals, to pursue, to talk about the future?

We are devolving into primates, losing the ability to even discuss our own behavior using words and sentences. The average single American man is now relegated to grunts and shrugs and ‘whatevers’ and ‘you knows’ when pressed to have a conversation about his dating habits. Or his vicinity habits. Or his whatever habits, because whatever, you know?

‘Hanging out’ is how we describe what we do with our buddies. Is that what you want? Do you want that beautiful woman to be your buddy? Or would you ideally prefer it if you could distinguish between your relationship with her and your relationship with your friend Steve?

Yeah. Preach it, brother.

Romance and Bad Theology

“I’ll never forget my poor beleaguered roommate talking with me after he took a risk and told a nice young lady that he liked her. They went on a long walk. He was pretty sure she would reciprocate his declaration of affection. But it turned out she wasn’t interested. She was a sweet girl, a good Christian. She didn’t mean to have bad theology. But instead of just saying ‘I’m not interested’ or ‘I don’t like you’ or ‘Quit stalking me’ or something, she went all spiritual on him. ‘I’ve been praying a lot about you,’ she demurred, ‘and the Holy Spirit told me no.’ ‘No?’ my confused roommate asked. ‘No… never,’ she replied.

Poor guy – he got rejected, not only by this sweet girl, but by the Holy Spirit. The third person of the Trinity took a break from pointing people to Jesus to tell this girl not to date my roommate. I didn’t know that was in the Spirit’s job description. But I bet at any Christian school there are scores of men and women blaming God for their breakups.”

– Kevin DeYoung, Just Do Something (p. 50)