Category Archives: Humor

In Which Chesterton Demonstrates the Proper Way to Play Q&A

Discovered these beauties on Facebook last night, and could not resist sharing them. G.K. was The Man. I believe I shall toast him at dinner, dead though he be.

“Would you prefer to be thin?”
“No. My weight gives us a subject with which to start these question and answer sessions.”

“What are your thoughts on Hell?”
“I regard it as a thing to be avoided.”

“What do you think of the German language?”
“I regard it with a profound agnosticism.”

“If you were stranded on a desert island with only one book, what book would you want it to be?”
“Thomas’ Guide to Practical Shipbuilding.”

“Could you speak louder please?”
“Good sister, don’t worry. You aren’t missing a thing!”

“What do you think will happen in the next great revolution: the revolt of Nature against Man?”
“I hope Man will not hesitate to shoot.”

“Do you believe in the comradeship between the sexes?”
“Madam, if I were to treat you for two minutes like a comrade, you would turn me out of the house.”

“You seem to know everything.”
“I know nothing, Madam. I am a journalist.”

“In the event of your having to change your original position, what tactic do you adopt?”
“On such occasions, I invariably commit suicide.”

Quotes taken from Dale Ahlquist’s Common Sense 101: Lessons From G.K. Chesterton.

I Want You All to Call Me Loretta

“Apparently Facebook just added 50 new ‘gender options,’ or something. From now on, I want you all to call me Loretta.” – Well Spent Journey (via Facebook)

LORETTA: “I want to have babies.”
REG: “You want to have babies?”
LORETTA: “It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them.”
REG: “But… you can’t have babies.”
LORETTA: “Don’t you oppress me.”

I can’t help but be reminded of this piece by Carl Trueman, from September of last year: “In his poem Marmion, Sir Walter Scott famously commented on lying as follows: ‘Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive.’ It seems that this line was never more apposite than when it comes to the plastic politics of contemporary sexual identity.”