The Wit and Wisdom of Douglas Adams

douglas_adams_sketch_by_4catsinaboat-d4ysnha“A learning experience is one of those things that says, ‘You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.’”

“The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.”

“Beethoven tells you what it’s like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it’s like to be human. Bach tells you what it’s like to be the universe.”

“In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.”

“His mouth started to speak, but his brain decided it hadn’t got anything to say yet and shut it again. His brain then started to contend with the problem of what his eyes told it they were looking at, but in doing so relinquished control of the mouth which promptly fell open again. Once more gathering up the jaw, his brain lost control of his left hand which then wandered around in an aimless fashion. For a second or so the brain tried to catch the left hand without letting go of the mouth and simultaneously tried to think about what was buried in the ice, which is probably why the legs went and Arthur dropped restfully to the ground.”

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

“If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.”

“There are some people you like immediately, some whom you think you might learn to like in the fullness of time, and some that you simply want to push away from you with a sharp stick.”

“We’ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent lifeforms everywhere and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.”

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.”

“’I’m a pretty dangerous dude when I’m cornered.’ ‘Yeah,’ said the voice from under the table, ‘you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel.'”

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7 thoughts on “The Wit and Wisdom of Douglas Adams”

  1. Haha! These are awesome. Especially the underestimation of fools. See signs about how coffee is hot….

  2. Almost as good as Wodehouse…but not quite.😀 The bit about the ingenuity of fools is particularly clever-and very true. Why do they have to print “warning: contains milk” on the jug of milk?

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