And Now For Something Completely Different

What if everything you knew about our presidents was just a fraction of the truth?

After reading my review of the film Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, a friend directed me to this poster series by Jason Hauser, who explores “alternative views of famous American presidents” in a style seemingly influenced by the bombastic technique of filmmaker Michael Bay. Can you say cool?

Check out Reagan riding a velociraptor or Jackson as an alien slayer. You can even see Abe Lincoln Reloaded (because four score and seven years ago he took the red pill).

I especially love this one, which re-imagines Washington as a zombie hunter:

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And this one, wherein my favorite President takes on Bigfoot:

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I think we can all agree that if Teddy was a monster fighter, he’d be the biggest, baddest monster fighter of them all. As he once said, “Speak softly and carry a big machine gun. With lots of ammo. And a flag.”

Re-imagining the presidents is jolly good fun and all, but I was thinking… what if we did something similar for famous theologians? Think about it.

Athanasius: Arian Brawler. Think of him as a small but muscular cage fighter, with a giant tattoo scrawled across his chest that reads Contra Mundum

Tertullian: Marcion’s Bane. He owned a pair of Uzis, affectionately dubbed “Apologia” and “Polemikos.”

Calvin: Wielder of the Institutes. Arguably the greatest warrior in the Reformed Tradition. He also sported an epic beard and carried Tulip Grenades for backup.

Luther: Demolition Monk. His career started when he nailed ninety-five ITBs (Incendiary Thesis Bombs) to a church door. The world has never been the same since.

I’m beginning to have way too much fun with this, so I’ll stop there. Now it’s your turn. Fire away! Let’s see how creative you guys can get.

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