Top 10 Signs You May Not Be Reading the Bible Enough

  • 10. When the preacher announces the sermon is from Galatians… you check the table of contents.
  • 9. You think Abraham, Isaac and Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60’s.
  • 8. You open to the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out.
  • 7. Your favorite Old Testament patriarch is… Hercules.
  • 6. A small family of woodchucks has taken up residence in Psalms.
  • 5. You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn’t listed in either the concordance or the table of contents.
  • 4. Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand, “Who gave you this stuff?”
  • 3. You think the “minor” prophets worked in the quarries.
  • 2. You keep falling for it every time your pastor tells you to turn to First Condominiums.
  • 1. Kids keep asking too many questions about your bedtime story: “Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors.”

Courtesy of Mike Kelly

27 thoughts on “Top 10 Signs You May Not Be Reading the Bible Enough”

    1. I’ve pulled that one on a few family members… :D

      They 1) leisurely flip through the pages, and when they don’t find it, they 2) begin looking more earnestly. When they still don’t find it, they 3) start at Genesis and frantically work their way to Revelation. Finally, they give up and 4) check the table of contents.

      That’s when they figure out that they’ve been fooled… and they run after you with a meat cleaver. ;)

  1. Okay … thinking this was one of those “tests” where you scored your answers, I did just that … WWII Savings Bond (check), Hercules (check), Charlton Heston (check), Book of Galatians (check) … I was ripping along pretty good … Song of Solomon (good one :) … but then the Jonah question puzzled me! Didn’t look quite right! Then it dawned on me … this was a trick quiz! That’s not very nice! I be sharpenin’ my blade now … Waugh!

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