11 Things You Didn’t Want to Know About Me

1. I’m not on Facebook. Or Google+. Or Foursquare. Or any other social networking site (except Twitter, which isn’t the same). I really don’t want ex-girlfriends looking me up (just kidding) and blogging demands enough time and energy as it is. Besides, I’m a homeschooler, and aren’t homeschooled kids supposed to be socially inept or something?

2. I reenact the Fur Trade Era (my Dad and brothers do, too). Think Davy Crockett or Jedediah Smith. Mountain men. We wear hand-sewn buckskins, shoot black powder, sleep in canvas tents, and attend rendezvous. We also throw edged weapons – quite well, I might add. So don’t mess with me. I sling knives as well as ink.

3. I appreciate sarcasm and satire, when used appropriately. That’s why I read blogs like Calvinistic Cartoons and The Sacred Sandwich. That’s why I enjoy writers like Mark Steyn and Ambrose Bierce. That’s why I take shots at Twilight and bonehead legislation. Sometimes sharp humor can make a point better than anything else.

4. I’ve never read a book by Stephen King. The horror genre just doesn’t appeal to me, and that’s what King is best known for. From Carrie to The Shining, he’s got some macabre stuff in his repertoire. Heck, even his profile pic is creepy. On the other hand, a good friend has recommended several of King’s books to me. And because I greatly value this friend’s opinion, I may check them out. Maybe.

5. I know the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. It’s 42. No, really…

6. Math is my least favorite subject. No offense to my mathematically-inclined friends, but I feel an overwhelming sense of relief when I finish my weekly math assignments. Yes, yes, I realize how important it is; I’ll even acknowledge that there is a certain beauty to mathematics. But that doesn’t alter my dislike of it. Bring me a book to read, a subject to write about. Just leave your binomial theorem and synthetic division at home.

7. I once ate worms on a dare. Mealworms, to be exact. I was eight at the time and not too bright. I can understand eating grubs in a wilderness survival situation – desperate times call for desperate measures. But my times weren’t desperate, so looking back, I question the necessity of my “desperate” measures.

8. I used to collect swords. Or at least, professionally-made replicas of swords. Edged weapons of that have sort always interested me a great deal. I still have the collection, hanging up on my bedroom wall, but I haven’t added to it in years. At present, I’m more interested in “collecting” guns. Real ones, that is.

9. I’m a sucker for cheesecake. ‘Nuff said.

10. I once swore that I would never read anything by Jane Austen. Anything at all, you understand. I can’t remember exactly why, but it probably had something to do with not wanting to read “girly books”. Last school-year, I was compelled to pick up Pride and Prejudice. Girly book? Hardly. It’s classic literature at its very best.

11. I can be absent-minded sometimes. Like the time when my Mom asked me for the phone and I brought her scissors instead. *facepalm* Thankfully, that sort of thing doesn’t happen anywhere near as often now; but if anybody wants to pick on me about it, I appeal to G.K. Chesterton for my defense: “I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.”

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56 thoughts on “11 Things You Didn’t Want to Know About Me”

  1. You’ve evolved into a whole other class of young man-hood because you’ve read Austen. I can see you will impress young ladies in the future.

    I hate math too, and as the homeschooling mom, I was very happy when the weekly math assignments were over, as were my children who hated being taught math by a math-hater.

      1. *laughs*

        What’s funny, is I have absolutely no desire to read Austen either. I haven’t gone to extremes of swearing I wouldn’t but hahaha… I do have a soft spot for Dickens though xD

  2. :)

    On the worms, and here I thought I was crazy eating crickets for “extra credit”, for a class that I was already at the top of, and which didn’t even give grades. On the other hand, my sister’s face when I told her definitely counts as extra credit. :)

  3. This is an interesting post. :)

    I’ve never read a book by King, either — I am not a fan of horror at all. But I did enjoy the movie Stand By Me, which I didn’t know was based on a book by him at first, so I have thought of checking it out some time.

    I wish more guys would give Austen a chance. I actually like Persuasion best of her books.

  4. Reinactin”? Whut intarnashun is reinactin? whuts wrong wit you Scribe? Bin feelin’ sickly? Got a tuch of de fever have ya’? When we gits back to kamp I will give you of me pappys cureall. Don’t taste like much of anythin’ good, but it will put har on yur chest … ifin’ it don’t kilt ya’
    Waaauugh! Im da’ meanist varmint west of da Big Muddy, best shot in da’ Rockys, tuffer dan any bar, mor’ onrey dan any rattlesnake … Im a real Mountain Man … an don’t ya ferget it! Waaauuugh!

  5. Reblogged this on Justification by Grace and commented:
    I love Corey Poff, aka the Ink Slinger. Though I have never met the young man personally, my relationship with him is much like the one we have with the Lord, Jesus Christ– “Whom having not seen, ye love” (1 Peter 1:18). What’s not to love (re Corey). Here are 12 reasons why I love the Ink Slinger:

    1. He doesn’t spend all his time on social media; in fact, spends no time at all.

    2. He wears a coonskin hat. Everyone in my neighborhood in 1965 wore a fake coonskin hat pretending to be Fess Parker. Had a I had a real one, I might still be wearing it today.

    3. He appreciates sarcasm. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t like me none too much… or some, many, all (?), of my friends.

    4. I’m glad I’m not the only one that secretly thinks that Stephen King’s press release photo runs shivers up my spine.

    5. Anyone who could shoot down endless and meaningless philosophy apart from Christ with the casual mention of a number is aces in my book.

    6. Math is my daughter’s best subject but I don’t think its her favorite. Math is one of my favorite subjects but I’m not very good at it. As a large sector of academia has placed a great stock in mathematics, I appreciate anyone who could be honest about it. Frankly, as we all know, there is only One Great Mathematician, who planned and designed it all before the foundations of the earth.

    7. I’ve been all over the world as a U.S. Navy deep sea diver and have eaten many things that most people would find repulsive. The rest of those things ‘civilized’ folk would find repulsive, I’ve eaten as a missionary to Southeast Asia and in Alaska. I have great admiration for anyone who can gobble down a meal-worm and tell the tale without gagging (you absolutely don’t want to know the worse thing that has been down my gullet).

    8. I also used to collect swords. It has been so long ago that most people don’t know that I used to have a black belt in jujitsu and was a ‘master’ at Tai Chi Ch’uan and an expert int he Filipino Martial Arts, particularly stick, sword, and knife fighting skills. I sold my weapons collection in Japan just before I got out of the Navy to go to the Philippine mission field in 1993.

    9. I, too, am a sucker for cheesecake.

    10. I also thought Jane Austen was too ‘girly.’ But since my daughter like Jane Austen, and I love my daughter… well, you get the picture. And much to my surprise, Miss Austen had writing skills that I could garner many a lesson from… and should.

    11. Absent-minded? I was so caught up preaching Christ crucified once that I could not recover to pick up where I left off in my sermon. Absent-minded? I was once looking for my reading glasses all afternoon and, they weren’t just on top of my head where I’ve found them at other occasions a time or two, but I was actually wearing them. It was then that I could see that I needed a new prescription.

    12. My 16-year-old daughter thinks Corey Poff is cool. I think that she also reads Corey’s blog. She told me that she wished our president would operate with just a fraction of Corey’s intelligence. “If he were running for president,” she told me of Corey, “I definitely vote for him.” So would I.

    O yeah, by the way, did I tell you that I love Corey Poff and his family. I have a letter he sent to me that I’m framing and hanging on many office wall this week.

    Thanks, Corey.

      1. Yup. And in the providence of God, all the falling techniques I learned in jujitsu came in handy when I first started falling from my ailments. Had I not learned how to fall instinctively, I might quite possibly be in a wheelchair today instead of on crutches.

        Love you, dear brother. I truly do.

  6. So, eleven things I didn’t want to know, but spent the last few minutes reading anyway. Does that say more about me or you? Maybe it says more about Jon Cardwell, because I read his “reblog” first, which then made the original quite interesting. Anyway, thanks for sharing and filling my head with more unwanted information!

  7. Fun post, Corey! I may steal your idea. :)

    Glad for your endorsement of JA. Most definitely not girly. I’ve eaten weird things in my life but I will refrain from worms, insects (full grown and larval) and reptiles. However, I will gladly consume cheesecake in its many forms.

    1. “Steal” away, Persis! :D I actually got the idea from Challies, who wrote a similar post several years. Those kinds of posts aren’t usually my thing – and some bloggers take them way too seriously – but they’re fun to write every now and then.

  8. Well, now we know.

    I think we should never vow never to read a particular author, your Austen experience is a good example. :D

    Cheeecake + Coffee = Awesome.

    If you didn’t like sarcasm then I would be tempted to think that someone has hijacked your blog a couple of times. :D

    You should show off your sword collection on the blog sometime, that would be a pretty interesting sight.

    Great post, and very interesting. Thanks for sharing.

  9. Oh, man. That was good :)

    And yes, we (I) would love to see the sword collection. You have my eternal and undying jealousy now :P

    I know a girl who ate a dead, sand-crusted frog on a dare once. She did get $20 for doing it though…. heh…

    Thank you for making my day with an epically hilarious post Corey :)

    1. I know a girl who ate a dead, sand-crusted frog on a dare once. She did get $20 for doing it though…

      Are you kidding me? $20 is paltry for a feat that disgusting. I would’ve charged $100, and not a penny less. :)

  10. Didn’t really want to know all these things but couldn’t help reading all about them all the way to the end, and it all started at Jon’s blog place. He knows where all the good stuff is! I think I’m all done now. ;-)

  11. This is a hilarious post, Corey! :D

    “I know the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.”
    That reminds me of Mr. Phillips’ little quote; “Look at me. Hear me roar. I am sixteen, I am wisdom incarnate. Ha.” —-we used to laugh and laugh and laugh over that…..until I turned sixteen, then I kind of didn’t laugh so much anymore. Now that I’m seventeen, I can laugh at it again. ;)

        1. Actually, it’s from a lecture by Doug Phillips on children honoring their parents. His point was that teenagers – especially older ones – tend to arrogantly view themselves as wiser than Mom and Dad. :)

  12. So, if we didn’t want to know it.. why’d ya post it?? Haha! Just kidding. Had to say that, sorry, as it was the first thing that popped into my head. Not on FB or anything else either.. and don’t want to be.

    I never would have known that you liked sarcasm if you hadn’t a told me….

    Don’t like math??!! *High fives you* Welcome to my world!!

    As for not reading Jane Austen, I’m glad you’ve reformed from your terrible taste and now enjoy her writings. ;) hehe!

    Thanks for sharing these fun and interesting facts.. and all the comments on this post were very interesting to read. ;)

    1. So, if we didn’t want to know it.. why’d ya post it??

      It’s kind of a reverse psychology thing, see; I tell you that you don’t want to read it… and that makes you want to read it! Or something like that. ;)

  13. “and aren’t homeschooled kids supposed to be socially inept or something” You crack me up Corey – and I was happy to read #11 – makes me feel just a wee bit better about myself.

  14. Awesome list! :D Agreed on all points except 2, 7, & 8. Only replace twitter with G+, and we’re there. ;)

    (By the way, were you pointing our your dislike of math by replacing point 5. with the number 3.?)

  15. Hmmm I like FB it connects me to friends who I don’t get to see…more that twitter.

    Reenacting is AWESOME!!!! I have a colonial dress though, no fur around and about me.

    Humor is always appreciated, by those who know how to laugh

    *hiding from Stephen King*

    How in the world did you get smart so fast…

    Math should be hung.

    Never did anything like that on a dare – I did kiss a toad and a salamander though when I was little….don’t ask me to do that now though :P

    I collect swords – the be awesome! Though I am sure as a fur trader guns are far more effective. I doubt any creature would duel with you for his life.

    Cheesecake – you can have it.

    *gasp* YOU SWORE!!!! :P There is a saying about never…but I shan’t repeat it. I am glad you found it worth your while, It’s a good book. :)

    Being absent minded makes for great stories. :)

    This was fun to read. Thanks for sharing Corey!

    Jessica

  16. Re-enacting eh? In my mispent youth at university, over 30 years ago, I was a member of the Sealed Knot society which reenacts battles of the English Civil War. On one of our camps one day I was accosted by 2 young boys, aged about 8 and brandishing swords or sticks (so long ago, I can’t remember!) “Who is your king?” they roared. “King Charles”, I replied. “No”, they shouted, “King Jesus!” – Well, I didn’t know any better in those days, (BC!), now of course I’m a bit of a Puritan!

  17. You’re really only sixteen years old?! I was playing playstation 24/7 and trying to chug Natty lites when I was your age. Refreshing to know there are some solid up and comers out there that aren’t enamored with the world system.

    On your hatred for math, be careful. I shared your disdain in high school, and now I’m teaching it for a living! Peace and grace.

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