The Wit and Wisdom of P.G. Wodehouse

“I’m not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare who says that it’s always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.”

“There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.”

“Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.”

“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”

“There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.”

“The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.”

“What asses these Frenchman are! Why can’t they speak English?”

“Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.”

“Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.”

“A certain critic — for such men, I regret to say, do exist — made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained ‘all the old Wodehouse characters under different names.’ He has probably by now been eaten by bears, like the children who made mock of the prophet Elisha: but if he still survives he will not be able to make a similar charge against Summer Lightning. With my superior intelligence, I have out-generalled the man this time by putting in all the old Wodehouse characters under the same names. Pretty silly it will make him feel, I rather fancy.”

“He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.”

“I suppose, when a man is in the habit of giving his unsolicited counsel to everyone he meets, it is as invigorating as an electric shock to him to be asked for it spontaneously.”

“The Bishop was talking to the local Master of Hounds about the difficulty he had in keeping his vicars off the incense.”

“The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say ‘When!’”

“I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.”

“I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of the story, but I have my off moments.”

“Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.”

“He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.”

“He’s a dear old boy, if you rub him the right way. But… he can cut up rough. And, when he does, he goes off like a four-point-seven and the population for miles round climbs trees.”

“I know all about saving people from drowning. We used to practice it with a dummy in the swimming-bath at school.”

“The voice of Love seemed to call me, but it was a wrong number.”

Have your own favorite Wodehouse quote? Or just funny quote, in general? Be sure to share it down in the comments section!

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10 thoughts on “The Wit and Wisdom of P.G. Wodehouse”

  1. Oh my!!!!! I think I just about fell out of the chair! Those are so funny.
    Unfortunately I am not one of those people who can really write down quotes… that is, I forget to. So, I don’t have any to share! Not to mention that it would take some good hunting to top these!

    Thanks so much for sharing. I needed a good laugh today. ;-)

    Sarah

    PS Sorry I haven’t been commenting very much……..

  2. “He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.”

    Bwahahahaha!

    Here a couple from Wodehouse:
    “He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”

    “Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice.”

    Here’s one of my favs from you know who:
    “Mrs. Fitzroy did not approve of the match on account of the tender years of the couple, Rebecca being but 36 & Captain Roger little more than 63. To remedy this objection, it was agreed that they should wait a little while till they were a good deal older.”

  3. I truly enjoy your posts, BUT, I’m not familiar with Wodehouse. There must be
    something wrong with me. SORRY.

  4. Hahaha!!! These are hysterical!!!

    Mary Joyce, you are not alone. I also am not familiar with Wodehouse…but oh boy, I certainly appreciate his wit!

    Thanks for posting Ink. Laughter always does the soul good! :)

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