Insulting Someone Creatively

Insult – n. Any gross abuse offered to another, either by words or actions; act or speech of insolence or contempt.

You know, back in the old days, people could be pretty creative when it came to insults. Creative, as in managing to make someone wince without resorting to colorful language. Creative, as in avoiding stupid analogies. Creative, as in, well… creative.

Consider this excerpt from Alessandro Manzoni’s Italian novel I, Promessi Sposi:

Devil take it! You’re beginning to look like a cowardly dog, that’s just about the courage to snap at people’s ankles as they pass the door, looking back over his shoulder to see if anyone’s coming out to back him up, but hasn’t got the guts to go twenty yards down the street!

See what I mean?

Earth Day + Darwinism = Contradiction

Well, tomorrow is April 22: Earth Day. Therefore, I submit the following for your consideration. It may be of great help should you happen to encounter any rabid Darwinists…

“Has anyone else noticed a contradiction implicit in the annual Earth Day celebrations? That vast majority of devotees at such fetes are Darwinists who believe humans have an obligation to protect the environment. Starting with a naturalistic worldview, though, why should anyone care?

“For millions of years, Mother Nature has spewed noxious fumes and poisonous gasses into Earth’s atmosphere and littered the landscape with ash and lava. Indeed, the most ‘natural’ condition in the universe is death. As far as we know, the Earth is completely unique. Death reigns everywhere else.

“Species have passed into extinction at a steady rate from the beginning of time, the strong supplanting the weak. Why shouldn’t they? Each is in a struggle for survival, a dance of destruction fueling the evolutionary process. May the best beast win. That’s the logic of naturalism. Yet the sense of obligation to steward the Earth is strong. Why?

“The moral motivation for Earth Day simply does not follow from Darwinism. It makes sense, though, if God entrusted man with stewardship over the Earth… Earth Day makes sense for theists, but not Darwinists.”

~ Gregory Koukl, Tactics (Ch. 10, pp. 153-154)

Flotsam & Jetsam (4/21)

Droopy’s Prison Ministry – You know what? Let’s start this F&J off with a laugh…

Prosecutor, Judge, and Jury of God – Moving onto more serious stuff… Gary Demar offers a biblical critique of Vincent Bugliosi’s new book Divinity of Doubt: “Mr. Bugliosi assumes the existence of God and the ethical system espoused by Christianity to make his case against God in light of the existence of evil.”

Drum Solo – I’m not a big fan of drum solos… but this is pretty neat.

A Jealous Love – Tim Challies writes, “It may seem to us that it is easier and more effective to preach a gospel of universal love—a gospel where God loves and accepts us just as we are. But this is not the gospel of the Bible. Until we know our sin and God’s wrath against it, we cannot know love. Until we know love, we cannot know the Savior.”

Is There Historical Evidence for the Resurrection of Christ? – Shared by Justin Taylor.

As of TodayNewsflash: Eddie Eddings of Calvinistic Cartoons announces the unthinkable – he’s decreasing the frequency of his posts! Learn more about this shocking declaration by clicking the link! Do it, I tells ya!

A Doctrine That Must Be Believed – Food for thought from Kevin DeYoung via Charles Hodge.

First Thoughts – Santiago shares his first thoughts about Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. “Reading this book is like reading a novel, a philosophy textbook, and a religious book packed in 1,200 pages of explicit ideological statements, which, bluntly put, are lies.”

Precious Words, Not Rocks – “Jesus spoke the most precious words ever spoken: ‘Neither do I condemn thee.’ Can you grasp what this means? Can you? ‘He that is without sin…, let him first cast a stone.’ But, He, who was without sin, did not cast a stone!”

Despicable Christians, Unspeakable Grace – Mike Cosper responds to athiest (and well-known British comedian) Ricky Gervais.

“If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Lots of Onces and Lots of Times

The first lines of a book are often the most powerful and usually the hardest to write. As an aspiring writer myself, I’m continually searching for just the right “beginning” – something that really packs a punch, makes the reader laugh, or draws him in like a lure. As one of the best examples I’ve encountered to date, I offer you the opening lines N.D. Wilson’s Leepike Ridge:

In the history of the world there have been lots of onces and lots of times, and every time has had a once upon it. Most people will tell you that the once upon a time happened in a land far, far away, but it really depends on where you are. The once upon a time may have been just outside your back door. It may have been beneath your very feet. It might not have been in a land at all but deep in the sea’s belly or bobbing around on its back.

Praise God for the creativity he has bestowed on the mind of man. How dull life would be without it.

(Have a favorite opening line from a book?
Feel free to share it in the comments section)